By commiting ourselves to dialogue with others, we commit ourselves to the risks of the future and the possibilities of change within and without.
I respond emotionally and rationalize my feelings based on my conditioning and experience. The other person also resonds this way. If we can acknowledge our conditioned perceptions, there may be less misapprehension. If we can move to thinking and logic, there may be an opening for dialogue.
I have two thoughts:
First, the title seems to be an apt description of your previous (July) blog: do we have the patience for our mud to settle before our conditioned perception becomes communicated, and we find we have misapprehended the other's intention?
Second, because it looks like a Rorschach test we are viewing and the response is subjective, how and what we respond is really revealing of ourselves, and hence we are not misapprehending another.
Such is the paradox of life!
I believe we come into this world with a wired in negative bias towards “other” derived from our survival as a specie. For example is it a beige rock or a lion, the people who assumed beige rock were eventually eaten no longer contributing to the gene pool. Further our perception of unknown” other” was molded by our parents’ genetics, environment, and life experiences. Thus each person sees “other” differently. We filter everything through our belief system. Instead of immediately acting on this narrow view of reality and perception, if we pause, recognize our perceptions’ limitations then approach other with an open mind, as an equal, even with compassion as a fellow traveler on this earth we reduce our misapprehension and may engage in meaningful dialogue and create a greater understanding of our similarities and temper our future initial conditioned perceptions.
Answering the questions is not enough. How to not react has to be learned. Instruction on how to do that is necessary. I am confident Taoist teachers can do that. It is as if the Buddha discovered three noble truths instead of four, leaving out there is a way to end suffering.
I see people jumping to conclusions a lot, including me. I try to keep my assessments to myself and think about it more later. Sometimes I end up changing my mind about the situation, sometimes not. Counting to ten on a cosmic level.